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Monday, March 25, 2013

The Good, Bad, Good news

Well, there's lots of good news this week and a little bad news (but just for me).

Today I was supposed to be starting my week long vacation. However, I was so swamped with IRL work last week and will be this week that I have to cancel it. This is the entirety of the bad news.

The good news is that the next release is aaaaaalmost done. I need to work on the sex scene and do my personal playthroughs of this version of the game before I make the beta, which I anticipate (unless I find major bugs) being available next Monday, the 1st of April. (On second thought I'll release it on the 2nd of April so people don't think it's an April Fool's Joke.) I probably would have gotten it done this week had I not gotten so swamped with work. Again - if you are a donator and do NOT wish to be part of the mass e-mail list, send me an e-mail and tell me. I'll remind everyone of this before I send out the beta.

The heroine of this section is Branda, who you ran into in the Oasis if you played the last version of the game. There's a dungeon, a few cutscenes, and more than one mission here, as well as a full, large city. There will be a choice you can make between a "good" and "evil" path here, but this release will only have the "good" path available. Once this release comes out I'll make the "evil" path and also implement a few dozen other small things I have wanted to do for a while, like making Orgasmic Energy actually do something, setting up energy harvesting from the crystals and making the girls in the crystals vary in appearance.

 Now for something I've wanted to bring up for a while: My viewing audience. I pay attention to who plays the game. Below are some (Not entirely serious) ideas for appealing more to these audiences.

1: USA
Congrats gentlemen and ladies, you may proceed to clap, for we are #1. This is no surprise. There's a lot of Americans on the internet. I shall include more large breasted women and explosions in your honor.

2: Germany
I will endeavor not to make jokes about Germans loving a game where you get to play the bad guy. I will include a long, lovingly crafted minigame about wars between various tiny breweries making excellent alcoholic beverages and warring with each other incessantly. (I'm not actually going to do this. I'll include more bondage elf though.)

3: Canada
I vow to include more bear women. These are irresistible to Canadians.  I will allow you to burn down a pristine, white house. It is a little known fact that this is how you make Canadians present an ahegao face. I shall also allow you to beat up a stereotypical guy from Toronto. Which should increase popularity with everyone in Canada who is not from Toronto. (I'm not sure if that's a net gain or loss)

4: United Kingdom
I'm not sure how this happened. This game includes no cheeky schoolgirls getting spanked, which I'm pretty sure counts as 99% of British pornography. Though it could be the conquest. Conquest makes up the other 1% of British pornography. I shall include more conquest.

5: Australia
Obviously I need only include more monstergirls. Living in a land of dangerous monstergirls will probably only remind them of home. Although Overwhored is free, I may have to start charging money. Only to Australians. Perhaps 50 Euros a download or so. Exorbitant prices are how Australians know they are loved.

6: Spain
The release after this one (with Branda) will contain a basque halfling girl as that chapter's heroine. I'm not sure if her being Basque will chase these fine people off or not. But I like the basque (they're everywhere here) so the cute shortstack is gonna stay. This post is actually completely serious. She's a planned heroine.

7: Russia
My first reaction to learning that Russians were here was to hide everything before they burned down all the things I love. And then I realized. "Oooooh. The Fruit crates". Of course the Russians will love a game where you can burn things for no good reason. Therefore, I shall include more Fruit crates. Also bear women. And more varieties of alcohol. Also more potatoes.

8: Poland
I shall include a long scene about cold and starvation in a world where everything hates you and you have nothing to do but have sex with your gigantic harem all day. I'll also add some Winged Hussars.

9: France
Um. Yeah, I'm not sure what I can offer here. I love France, I love the French. (Okay, I mostly love your comics, music and cartoons, having read Heavy Metal as long as I've been alive and REALLY enjoying Wakfu a while ago. And some of the Franco-Belgian Comics like Alexia's Demons are utterly fantastic.) All I can do is ensure that my porn is fun, straightforward, and non-pretentious, which will no doubt seem alien and strange to you but should be satisfying. In return, I wish that you all would translate - ah, ANY OF YOUR STUFF. It is exceedingly annoying to look for fan translations of French stuff. Because your country never translates anything. Jerks. (I love you France. Call me!)

10: Italy
I shall include a wide selection and variety of enormous hats. These hats shall convey authority and respect among the common man. Also I'll allow you to deck yourself out in extra gold and finery. Perhaps a giant hat made of solid gold. That is on fire. Also, I shall replace the gameplay with well painted gorgeous art that makes no logical sense story or plotwise but looks fucking awesome and includes plenty of naked women. Your comics have taught me what you truly love well.

Honorable mentions:
This nation fell off the toplist a while ago but I remember it because I love Brazil. I should note that every time I say this online a dozen Brazilians usually appear to tell me how awful their country is. Which is true because your country is full of giant nightmare spiders. So I will simply say I like the common people of Brazil a lot. In your honor I shall include some fine round ladybutts and more cute brown girls.

Scandanavian Nations:
These appear on the toplist often but fall off often as well. Sweden, Norway, etc. If the sort of art your artists put out is any indication, you love the fuck out of anal sex. So I'll just put some more anal sex into the game. I keep trying to hire Harmonist's11 so I can get some of his awesome anal scenes in the game but haven't managed it yet. There's also a few characters who will appear later that are inspired by Scandanavian culture. I'm debating making one Finnish and the other Swedish so they may quarrel often and amusingly.

There are other nations I'd LIKE to see but I don't. No Japan, no China. No India. No Belgium. It would probably help if I spoke any of the languages of those nations. But ah well. You can't win 'em all.

If you DO speak another language and think you could translate Overwhored to it and do a halfway decent job, let me know. That's an entirely serious offer. I really don't care what language it is. I simply wish to share the game with people who can enjoy it. I want people of all nations to be able to enjoy the game. No pay, but you'll go in the credits if you like. Overwhored is a game that should be shared with everyone, and in all truth despite the jokes above, I have yet to meet a people or nationality I don't like. I want everyone to simply enjoy the game and have fun.


  1. Heh. Too bad about losing your vacation, I hope your schedule clears up enough to allow one soon.

  2. Sorry for your vacation man, but boy, did I have a laugh with your country breakdown :-)

  3. 6.- Nobody minds the basque (it's just the independentists that are annoying), although their language is damn hard to learn.

  4. If you want to bring more czech people, just put there more beer, a lot of beer.

  5. i am portuguese and i play this game, you are confuse me with a Brazilian? i really dont care but i am just saying.

  6. Why would I confuse you with a Brazilian? Your country isn't full of nightmare spiders. By which I meant the Brazilian Wandering Spider. Fun Fact: Brazilian fauna is about as bad as Australia, but Brazilians brag about it less.

    Portugal is a fine country with a good standard of living. It lacks botflies, wandering spiders, and the threat of war with Argentina. But nobody talks about you because you don't make a bunch of trouble and you're not jerks.

    1. Im also Portuguese and I understood that you were talking about Brazil when I saw the Brazil part, about Portugal you cold make a village that politically corrupted :)

  7. The fruit crate was one of my favorite bits in the early release, i've gotten more since then but it had me laughing a good five minutes the first time I saw it and I still chuckle every time I do it.
    PS: We need more actual Nuns, I was heartbroken to see only snakewomen dressed as nuns

  8. Hey, Cypress_Z, when are you going to turn the poll back and update it? I want to see how close we are to delicious maids!

  9. Sorry to hear about your vacation.

    Although I understand your reasons for not including an all out war between some breweries (the thought of which made me feel all warm and fuzzy for some strange reason... maybe be because I'm german :D), alchemy surely is something a dark lord would be quite interested in...

    so I'd like to think that beer (maybe aphrodibrew? :D)isn't completely off the table quite yet.


    PS: And, yeah, what USAnon said... nuns :)

  10. I for one hate to do multiple choice games without multiple choices. It means I have to either wait for the 'latter' choice to be done, or play through the game and knowing I will have to go back.

    So... when is the next release after this one so I know when I will have my choices?

    1. I second this question, for this reason, though I plan to at least LOOK at some of the available stuff when the shiny new release comes out, although that release will only have one path.

    2. I'd rather Cypress take the time to finish it, rather than rush the thing myself.

  11. Honestly I have no way to say how long it'll take to do the release after this one. Nowhere near as long as this release did, for sure. The content in the other release will be substantial, but won't require mapping or a lot of new, complex events. Just fleshing out one branch and a few complex events. 1.3 Will be the city of Sayda and the "Princess Tasa" path. 1.3.5 Will be the Prince Amezwar path and me trying to get some stuff in the game like letting you buy abilities with orgasmic energy. If that gets too tricky, I'll just flesh out the one choice and the release should come pretty fast. (Probably within the month)

  12. Then I will wait for the next release. No point in playing this if I don't like the 'original' path. I might play up to just before you choose your path if that is possible, then wait for the next release.

  13. You could put in a third path. Semi neutral, just a suggestion. Also, sorry to hear about the loss of vacation. You are doing an awesome job on this game and I do think more explosions would increase your fans. The country list was funny to me as well.

  14. am alittle anouyed... I hate having to change currancy to buy something. Can you charge us in Australian Dollars instead? lol good joke by the way.

  15. >>Therefore, I shall include more Fruit crates. Also bear women. And more varieties of alcohol. Also more potatoes.

    Best Joke Of The Millenium!

  16. Seeing this after playing the latest version -
    My God, you're really going to do this all, aren't you?
    You've given the Russians their potatoes, and burned down several more things. Each subsequent release includes more conquest, thereby satisfying your promise to the British, and you've been following through on the French promise since the first release...
    Cypress, you genius, you had us all fooled.

    1. All a part of my evil plan. Mwahaha!