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Thursday, August 20, 2015

Tragedy

Recently something very awful happened in my family. I don't normally speak about personal issues here but this will impact my work. On Sunday my brother-in-law hung himself. He's in a coma and brain dead; by the time you read this they're likely to have pulled the plug.

I was not close with him but I am close with my sister and nephews. He was on the phone with my sister when he killed himself and she is currently an emotional wreck. My mother is not in much of a better state as she had just arrived for a visit with me and now blames herself for not being there. As a result I will be travelling to visit that part of my family and seeing what I can do to help and bring what comfort I can. Work on my game will NOT stop but I sincerely doubt I'll be making the deadline if I need to help her family for a week or two. I apologize and hope for your understanding.

I don't really use much of the Patreon funds for myself, preferring to put them all into my games. I will be using a small portion of it to help hire a psychologist for my sister, however. Suicide is like a plague; at the worst it spreads to others and at best it does extraordinary emotional damage. Time will only tell how my nephews deal with this; they're very young. Proper care after events like these is extraordinarily important, and I will not allow things to go poorly if I can help it.

I will not ask for contributions but should you wish to do so I would appreciate it; it'll help cover costs for the trip and psychologist. You can use the paypal button for a one-time donation. I can manage as things are and still finish the game in a timely manner without anything extra; it'll just make things easier.

I apologize for being a downer and presenting my personal problems to all of you, as well as for the delay. I will continue to work on a computer I bring with me as I'm with my family. If nothing else it is good to have something to occupy the mind. Work is the way I prefer to deal with things.

On some more lighthearted notes I do have some good things to report. First, that Sleepymaid has completed some monster art for the game which can be seen on my Patreon (for free) here:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/new-battle-3224688

Second NoMoshing and I will also reboot the indecent gaming podcast. Raw audio of the recent recording will be uploaded to my patreon within a day or two; the properly edited version will be available to the public before long.

Up until a certain point I had a good weekend. I visited a local anime convention (my first) and had a good time. It ran from Friday through Sunday. I didn't go on Sunday due to the tragic events that happened on that day but the first two days were very enjoyable. NoMoshing wants me to go to Anime North next year, I may do so and hold a panel on making NSFW games there.

I've given various artists assignments for the month and am working on hiring mappers to remake some of the less pleasant maps. Unfortunately the response was overwhelming and I have to figure out an audition, something I'm not really in the mood to do right now. Still, we do what we must.

Unrelated to the game I've harvested a few crates worth of peaches. I'm going to have to can them before this weekend as that's when I'll likely travel to see my family. That's going to be a... hefty job. I was anticipating having more time and some help. Still, we do what we must.

If you see me away from here and I'm cheerful, well, I'm trying to be. My game exists to bring people joy and beyond this post you probably won't see me mention these events again. I really prefer for people to come here to read good, happy news. I sincerely hope this is the last time I have cause to make a post about a subject matter as dark as this.




32 comments:

  1. I hope you and your family are able to cope with this, all the best wishes from me!

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  2. Pas de hasard.

    Suicide : Reason/origin.
    From where, only can be found then corrected one('s path.
    Of course then, given where + when, knowing this world is almost entirely wrong (sub nano material state going from solid to gaz function of someone "watching") it is also deeply rooted as to one's opening status (emotions, intellect, etc).

    In any case, talking is key, along with common experiences, and knowing that the hardest part come later on, as the death of one mean a slot have been emptied (not entirely, still, as to dialogue, ghost where are thy ?).

    To be seen, take (good) care Cypress.

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  3. There is no need to apologize. You've been incredible to us, and it's time we are incredible for you. Take whatever time and steps you need to. As someone who battles depression, I know how much taking time to be with family helps. Be there for them.

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  4. Been a fan of your games for a while, but I've never posted. I'm sad to hear about your family, and I'm sure no one would mind you spending some of the money to help out your sister and nephews after something like this. Take your time and remember family first.

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  5. My condolences. It's fine if you want to talk about your personal life, seeing as this is your blog.

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  6. Try to don't give up into sadness. Hope this thragedy won't hurt all of your close ones too much. My sincere condolences.

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  7. Shattenjager, I'm so sorry Cypress. I have had friends take the false path and I know the tragedy that your family is going through. Work on the game if it helps you, skip a month if it helps her. You're a busy little beaver and we know how much you put into this game. And yes, I know what Shattenjager means, but it certainly sounds like a curse word!

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  8. I wish the very best for you, your sister, and your nephews.

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  9. The only thing that is certain is that life will hand you challenges Cypress. Tragedies like this are hard on those left behind, as they tend to create a lot of survivor's guilt. Help your family through this, be strong for them as it seems they need it.

    Do not worry about us. Any who've been keeping track for awhile know how loathe you are to let RL interfere with development. Sometimes though, it's unavoidable. This is one of those times, and if it slows things down then so be it. You need to do what you can to help your family instead.

    Good luck, we wish you the best.

    ~Morningfrost

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  10. Took courage to post. Suicide is never easy to talk about. I'm not usually one to offer support for these stories but you seem to be in control and positive. That's admirable.

    Do whatever you feel will help you through this. Help your family, work on your game, anything that won't put you down. Saying this a someone who's been through dark times and as someone who enjoys your game. Hang in there.

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  11. My condolences. Take as much time as you need

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  12. I'm sorry for your loss. Take what time you need to help yourself and your loved ones.

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  13. sorry to hear the terrible news, I have been close to doing that in the past but luckily I had family stop me and make me realise the repercussions it would have had for them. for my 5c worth I would say take the time you need to be with your family, you will all need as much support as possible in coming days and I don't think any of us would begrudge you taking the time and looking after them

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  14. You are doing the right thing putting family first, especially at times like this, My thoughts are with you and your family and I hope the dust settles without to much extra harm done. Take Care.

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  15. My condolences. I have to admit, i don't know what to say, take as much time as you need to be qith your love ones and to rest if you can.

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  16. family should allways come 1st take the time you need you and your family will be in my prayes

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  17. I have bee a lurker here for awhile and we all know how much you have put into the game so if you have to take some time off do so. I know it will be hard but your family comes first keep your chin up, stay strong, and remember that although we may not know you personally we all send you our prayers. I know from experience how much a single message can help and I hope mine does.

    I know this message may not be much but I do hope that it gives you even the smallest boost in strength Cypress.

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  18. I hope you and your family find strenght in eaachother to overcome this horrible tragedy

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  19. Cypress your family should come first all the time! We all wll be understanding about it and will wait until you are ready to continue with the game again

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  20. I am so sorry to hear what happened to your family. I can't believe he could do that to your sister. Please take as much time as you need to make sure that everyone is okay. And safe travels.

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  21. Glad to hear he got out clean, if in fact he did; it's annoying as hell when you try to do these things and some moron drags you back so that you end up not only suffering your original problems but also the mental retardation or whatever other side-effects a botched suicide attempt may bring.

    When dudes drink a certain weedicide and other fucking morons drag 'em back from the brink, they end up with excruciating pain upon consumption of water and serious digestive problems, all on TOP of whatever other problems were there in the first place.

    Ain't sure why he'd hang himself on the phone with someone else unless he was either attempting to distress them or saying his goodbyes, but it's not my business either way.

    There'll be time to work on the game when your family's done either recovering or killing itself, no worries.

    Good luck mang.

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  22. Condolences on your loss. For what its worth your brother is no longer in whatever emotional pain drove him to this.

    However as someone who has had family members affected by suicide my thoughts are with you and your family who now have to pick up the pieces.

    All the best and thoughts are with you and yours.

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  23. Ah Geez! I don't know who has it worse, Your in-law for doing so for x reasons, or your sister for being on the phone with him at the time. Sincerest condolences however good they are from a random stranger on the 'net.

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  24. Well shit, that's a rough thing to deal with man. As one who transports the dead for a living and often deals with the families in the process I can say that spending the time to try and support your family is one of the best things you can do right now, too many times have my colleagues and I had to pick up multiple people from the same family in a relatively short period because of a lack of support for one another.

    I wish you and your family the best in the healing process in the wake such an unpleasant event.

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  25. My condolences to you and your family, Cypress. That is a situation I hope I am never in.

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  26. I kicked over a few bucks, because you need to take care of those still living. That is in addition to Patreon for the game.

    Please do not ever feel like you should not talk about this. Best is when bad things do not happen, but since we cannot change what happens, second best is being able to talk about it. I am glad to hear that you are taking care of your family, but make sure you get taken care of, too.

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  27. Stop progress altogether until the family gets better, get your priorities straight, they need you right now, and no one minds if you stop a bit.

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  28. My heart goes out to you and your family, and take all the time you need to heal. One thing I will mention in regards to the nephews (and your sister actually)- Down here in GA there is a nursing home/care facility that runs 2 camps each year, one for kids who have lost family members (regardless of circumstance), and one for the entire family. The camps are based around getting help for the pain, being able to bond with others who faced similar loss, and have some fun along with them. I was a cabin councilor for the kids only camp one year, and it really seemed to help the kids while I was there. They had to actually impose a limit on how many years the kids could come back because of how many just wanted to keep coming back (mainly because the amount of space they had was limited, but also because some of the campers attempting to come back started being detrimental to the healing of others because they were healed and were disrupting some of the therapy sessions because they would rather have more fun). Anyways, it might be beneficial to see if there are similar camps around where your sister and nephews live- the one here in GA is called "camp STARS," and the kids only camp occurs in November while the family camp is closer to March-April.

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  29. Holy shit this is awful. I think everyone here can totally respect that you have more important things to deal with now. All I can offer are words of encouragement, so I dearly hope that things will become better from here rather than worse. Good luck

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  30. Oh man I'm sorry to hear of this, all I can say is I wish you the best.

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